


Living On Without Them

by dropout_ninja



Category: The Haunting of Hill House (TV 2018)
Genre: Abandonment, Canon Compliant, Compulsions, Drug Addiction, Friendship/Love, Relapses, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-31
Updated: 2019-10-31
Packaged: 2021-01-15 19:54:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21258758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dropout_ninja/pseuds/dropout_ninja
Summary: There were two people he could trust to believe him and believe in him.





	Living On Without Them

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings are for spoilers for the series, referenced drug addiction and death.  
<1K Oneshot  
The Haunting of Hill House and its characters do not belong to me. All rights go to their respective owners.
> 
> Enjoy!

One.

One. Two. Three. 

Four. Five. Six. Seven.

One.

One

She had been so cynical when they first met. But she’d been real. And it had been grounding. It hadn’t taken long for the two of them to become friends.   
In the center, you were vulnerable. The others there were vulnerable.

They told you not to enter a relationship with someone else in rehab. 

But having someone, having Joey, was the reason Luke had stayed strong enough to make it to the 90 day mark.

* * *

Two

The two of them had gone to see his family. Joey was confident, talkative, and her usual cynical self.

But Steve had taken him aside and made it clear that he didn’t believe in her.

Steve didn’t believe in him either. 

Luke had left that evening to return to the center with Joey in tow.

* * *

Three

Joey caught him doing it. The counting. He’d done it since a child. He’d told Nell about it. It had worked.

That was when there were seven of them.

And then he saw his mom do _ something _ that everyone and the gradual lack of confirmation eventually had his own memories tell him was impossible (his mom could not have poisoned a girl who didn’t exist) (he never could trust his own vision even before the drugs. The drugs just gave a confirmed reason for the lies). That was the night she died.

The night there were only six of them.

The counting lost its magic- but the compulsion stayed with a fury.

If doing it would “keep you safe” then stopping had to-had _ to-something _, had to do something bad-

She got it though. She got it. She understood compulsions. 

She knew well enough she had her own.

* * *

Four

When Luke got up to get his chip, he was nervously shivering. The hand tremors were unnoticeable enough. Most everyone here had some stage fright.

Although most of them had gone through enough ice breaking in every group session to be past some of that fear. 

The chip was so small in his hands. Trying to hold it felt awkward.

Fourth step. It was always the fourth step. 

How many times had he gotten to this step and then fled right back to the nostalgic feel of heroin? 

But this time felt like it would be different. This time would be different.

Because there in the audience was cynical Joey looking proudly at him. 

Luke stammered out about thanking Paige and the center and that “someone special.”

The someone “who’s always had my back”.

So long as they had each others backs, this time _ would _ be different.

* * *

Five

From the moment he’d woken up in the night, Luke had felt sick. Sick all the way through his freezing bones and stabbing neck.

And he knew what it was. He knew it was his twin. He didn’t know _ what _ but he knew _ who _.

That same night Joey disappeared. 

Steve’s attitude at their last dinner came back. His warnings about her being slick. 

And Luke’s retorts came back too. 

Joey was a good person. She was a good influence.

And yeah, she was an addict. Just like him. But Joey had been there. When he had been going through hell coming down, she’d been there. 

“She talked me through it,” memory Luke snapped at his doubting brother, “She rode it out with me.”

His friend was an addict like him. He knew well enough that he’d ran before. He’d ran so many times that none of his siblings even believed in him anymore.

None but Nell. 

So Luke would be there for Joey. He’d ride this out with her. He’d bring her back.

He would. 

Because he loved her as much as he loved his twin; and Joey’s actions proved she loved him just the same.

* * *

Six

The car pulled up while he was still shaking with chills that no drugs had caused. Steve held him but Luke heard him later. Heard him say that he picked his younger brother up while he was withdrawing.

As per usual. Took the money, took the hope, threw it all away.

There were two people he could trust to believe him and believe in him.

Nell and Joey.

And both those people had left him behind. 

* * *

Seven

He asked, he couldn’t help but ask, he couldn’t stop himself. 

Nell was there, dead but there. In the House. The House he had tried to burn down. The House that had stopped him and moved to kill him and trap him forever with the spirit of his twin.

And he had been so close to that fate. He had died, or almost died, in the Red Room. The room that had taken on Joey’s form. The room that could do that. 

Joey had left him in the street. But here, Joey could return and let him know she’d taken the money and run, not for drugs, but to get them a hotel and offer her smile and cynicism and love once more. Forever.

He had asked because he couldn’t help but do so. He couldn’t help but despair.

_ How? How was he supposed to live on without her? _

Nell had only smiled softly.

And his siblings had taken him away from her and the house and the false Joey in the room.

* * *

* * *

One.

The two year mark came. It was celebrated. He had his siblings around him. 

Steve and Leigh. Theo and Trish. Shirley and Kevin.

Even now, Luke still looked for them. For his twin and his friend. 

They weren’t going to return. Not to normal. Nell was dead. And if Joey came, it wouldn’t be the same. 

But he loved them both for the memories. For who they were. For being the two most important people in his life.

No matter if they were gone. 

**Author's Note:**

> Joey and Luke broke my heart  
As did Nell and Luke  
And really anything to do with Luke XD Anyways, thank you for your time! If you noticed any grammar/spelling errors, please point them out so I can correct them :)


End file.
